Fourth week of rehearsal period.

Fourth week was probably the hardest week of the rehearsal period. Everyone was a bit stressed and some of the things did not go very well. We were drilling everything again and again and after some time it finally got it.

This week I have done a new thing for me which I am proud of. Sam was doing his own small fragment in Tilly’s piece and it was something like a break-dance and it was very hard for girls because there were a lot of movements that required strong arms. There was a choice between doing something with Lucy or staying and trying to do Sam’s piece. I chose to stay and try to do break-dance and it was the right choice because after a while I started really enjoying myself. In the end they had to choose four or five people who could do the routine beautifully and correctly. Lucy and Sam chose three boys, including Sam, and me, the only one out of four or five girls in the group. I was a bit shocked but very pleased. It was one more step in my development as a dancer.

Next discovery for me was my duet with Sam. It was an incredible experience for me. Sam and I did a small duet with Lucy where I have to be in love with him and help him through all his problems and pain but in the end I lost him. It was my first experience of working with a boy and I had to lift him and touch him gently as I if loved him. For me it was very strange to lift him but I understood that it linked to the context of the choreography. I enjoyed every second of creating process of this duet and I didn’t want to stop because it looked incredible. We didn’t really practise much, maybe because it was short or maybe because we did it well and it wasn’t very hard.

While we were dancing Lucy always used to tell us to look at the audience and look a little bit up because auditorium is going up and people who sit at the very top can’t see our faces. She was repeating it all the time but we didn’t do it properly so it was definitely my weakness of this week.

As a group, I think that we definitely became closer and we supported each other in everything. But occasionally we had some minor arguments and problems and it was very hard to work with certain people because they were more interested in socialising instead being focused on the creative process.

The last thing that I want to mention are my strengths and weaknesses. This is probably the hardest thing to talk about. My weaknesses are lack of confidence, performing skills and theoretical side of the course programme but I try very hard to get to the same level as my colleagues and to be able to express my thoughts and my feelings. I have one big problem – to look at the audience during the performance. I try to look at the audience and to engage with them, but somehow while I am dancing I think about choreography too much and forget to look at the audience. I think it happens now because I am still not sure if I am doing the right thing and I am trying to control every movement that I make. Another and probably the last weakness is rushing. I always rush while I am dancing which is definitely not a good thing. Lucy tells me to stop rushing and to make the moves more smoothly, which it is a little bit annoying because the music we are dancing to is fast and intensive and I found it hard to get into it.

My strengths are my technical abilities. I’ve noticed I can do everything that Lucy asks us to do and it’s definitely my ballet base which is helping me so much. I also memorize everything very quickly, every movement and every transition which we have learned, even if it’s not my section. This is incredible because if someone needs help I can easily remind them what they need to do and of course it also very helpful for myself.